HitchHike The Universe What happens when you follow the ebbs and flows of the Universe?

The Easy Button

There's a big red button on my desk. In big white unassuming letters it is labeled: "easy." When I press it, it tells me: "That was easy!"

Yes I got it from Staples when I bought my computer desk. I thought it would help remind that life is only as difficult as we make it.

Unfortunately for me and those around me, I've forgotten that fact. Last week I had a break down, been completely burned  out mentally, physically, and emotionally. I literally (yes, as masculine as I try to be) broke down and cried. I don't know why, but it felt good to cry. I was exhausted, I still am exhausted. Life has been progressively worse for me pretty much every day since this current semester of school started.  Being constantly bogged down, not having a single day during the week to myself.

You see my life is pretty much divided up between three main areas right now. I have School, Karate, and Work. School I really do enjoy, I love learning about new things all the time. There is stress involved because I have deadlines and such, but still it is very fulfilling nonetheless. New ideas constantly being introduced to me, really what's to complain about? Well other than the probably 25,000$ price tag that's attached to it. But even then I see it as an investment in myself and I've never wasted a dollar on making myself better.

So aside from school, the two other points of stress in my life are Karate and Work. Karate, I love and owe so much to. If not for being diagnosed with borderline high blood pressure six years ago and deciding to do something about it. Well I don't know where I would be right now. It's because of my Martial Arts training that I am going to school right now and writing this blog/developing this web site. Most of that I have my Karate instructor to thank for. I teach eight hours or more a week currently, which is fine for the most part. I really enjoy playing with the kids and seeing light bulbs turn on for people. Not to mention I really love the Martial Arts. That's really all there is to it. But still couple that with a demanding schedule and it's going to add up to some stress.

After realizing that the last area of my life that is causing me problems and in all honesty, not taking me anywhere. Yes I have learned a lot from my job, if not for it I really wouldn't have as good a handle on how the web works as I do now. But when you express to your boss that you need one day a week to yourself so that you can rest and recuperate and are promised it, then more than two months later it has not happened. (Yes it is finally on the horizon!) At least I feel extremely burned out. I feel especially bad because my students have been suffering because of my frustrations. I don't think I have been as much fun to be around and learn from lately. For that I am very sorry!

Ahhh, but there is light at the end of the tunnel! Really that light started to show about the time of my breakdown last week. My mother asked me about buying her car. A 2001 Mustang, V6. Nothing particular special, but a good car that runs well and well if anything breaks it's pretty easy to fix.  That's a good thing for me because I am currently driving a car that has a lot of personality and does not like to start off the day well. Actually it doesn't like to start much period. I pretty much have to push the gas pedal to the floor while I turn the key and then hold it while the motor decides if it is going to keep going or die. So I am very much looking forward to that.

As well I have a date for a day off! October 17th! I don't have to work. There is an anniversary celebration at the studio that day. But hey I'll get to show up and teach some intro lessons which are fun by themselves and do some martial arts and then go home and sleep or whatever I want to do! Mostly recently, I opened this website. I would eventually like to find a way to make money with it, but I am happy that this site has gone from idea to reality. As well, I recently purchased a Netbook to make life easier when working on papers and spending time on campus.

I still feel bad for the people around me during this process. I am very happy and grateful to have people that love and care about my well being. My Parents who took me out to lunch the day I had a break down and are the most supportive of my efforts in life. My students who despite the fact that I can been a bit rough still seem to enjoy learning from me, a Karate instructor who is a great influence.

Back to my mention of the Easy Button. I have realized that I am the one that has made my life complicated recently. I haven't been taking care of myself like I should and recently I have ended up hurting people that are close to me and I need to apologize to those of you, as well as thank you for standing by to help me. You know who you are and you rock!

Today I have realized that I need to hit the easy button and remember that life is only as complicated as I make it.

Make it a great one!