HitchHike The Universe What happens when you follow the ebbs and flows of the Universe?

Why so complicated?

For the past few years (actually I think it's more like 4 or 5 years at this point), I've been learning about social dynamics. The intention originally was to attract girls, what I've found has been rather interesting.

The first epiphany came when I realized the majority of men that learn about this stuff aren't sleeze-balls. Really these guys were just like me at one point, they just learned what was desirable for women and set about making changes in their lives. Notice I said changes in their lives, not changing themselves. The reason I point that out is because the old adage of: "Just be yourself" is entirely true. The problem comes when most insecure males/females take that to mean something along the lines of: "Oh okay so I can just be the gross, awkward me and people should just deal with it." No that's not what I'm saying at all.

With being yourself, there needs to be an understanding that you should be your best self. If you want a good exercise in what exactly that means; look at your behaviors and then stop and take a step outside of yourself and then ask yourself: "Would I accept this from someone else? Would I find this desirable in someone else?" If the answer is no, then it's not your best self and you should more than likely adjust your behavior.

So lets get right to the heart of this, why is it people make relationships and interactions between men and women, hell between other people so difficult? We all want to be treated with respect and appreciated for what we have to offer. When dealing with desirability between two people, I think we all want people who look nice, who smell nice (what your particular ideals as far as those are concerned should be your own), and who are pleasant to be around.

So if we want the same things, then why is it so difficult to say: "I like you, you like me, so we should be together." Instead life ends up sounding like a Foreigner song. Why does it have to be that way? I think some people just can't accept our inner natures. We like to work for things, if we get something easily then chances are we're not going to appreciate it. Which is where I think the whole idea of these "games" come into play in relationships. Frankly I think that is how they should be viewed, you should both accept that the other person wants you. Then have fun and be your best selves.

For the longest time I thought women wanted little pansy men that would suck up to them and were "nice" guys. So that's what I did, yet I always ended up being a girls emotional Tampon (yes, a disgusting metaphor. But it gets the point across). I'd set myself up in a position to listen to complaints about their boyfriends and how terrible they were, meanwhile screaming to myself: "Yo, Stupid I'm right here!" The problem was that I was making myself available and that I would accept negative energy from them. They were able to vent and feel better about their relationship and thus stay with their jerk boyfriend.

More recently, I've come to discover that women absolutely love it it when you don't try to suck up to them. They love it when you don't take their crap (as one Dating Guru put it: Shit Tests). They love when you're firm (not mean), because they know what's okay and what's not okay. That creates a feeling a of security, which is what femininity thrives on. Femininity is what I think men truly are attracted to in women. From my first hand experience, women love masculinity. It makes them melt! When women feel safe they let down their shields and want to be as feminine as possible.

This is what this whole interplay comes down to. The Masculine wanting the Feminine and vice versa.

Everyone get out there and bring your best self forward and allow yourself to want what you want, we'll all be a lot happier with ourselves and thus with life.