100 Day Challenge: Day 11
Today was a day for me to learn a lesson. A lesson I've learned numerous times in the past. I seem to forget this lesson and how important it is. Especially to someone like me.
I woke up this morning and lay in my bed. I kept thinking about how I needed to go to class. But for some reason I could not get out of bed. It could have been the chilly morning.
But I know it wasn't.
I was projecting myself into the future and looking back at going through everything I'm going through now. As I was looking back, the only thing that kept coming to mind was: WHY AM I DOING THIS? It's been something I've been asking myself a lot lately.
I have a nasty tendency to push myself to burnout and then have nothing to show for my trouble at the end of it all.
I'm going to say the sole reason I do what I do most of the time is because I know that whatever I put into life, I'll get back out.
At least that's the case if I have a plan laid out and a reason for working myself to the bone.
The problem is that I loose track of that at times and forget why I'm doing things.
So after skipping my Math class (yeah, I know really smart when I'm concerned about passing.), and grudgingly adding coolant to my car, I came back into my apartment. I sat in my computer chair I noticed my gaze drifting longingly to my collection of PS2 games.
So finally I said: "Why the hell not?"
I selected the MegaMan Collection. From the first notes of the oh so memorable MegaMan theme cheerfully being played at starting screen my mood started to change. I felt my self relax internally and in turn, externally. I selected the "Hard Man" stage. My fear and anxiety melted away, I started thinking about various algorithms and how they were used to create what I was playing. I thought about the logic and how the code flowed to to allow what my fingers were doing on the control pad to translate to the screen. I forgot about time and was content.
All too soon though, I had to turn it off and head to work. (Which I ended up being late for anyway.) But the feeling of energy I had when I left my apartment is still with me.
After I left work I went to the Karate studio and talked to Mr. Smith.
He reminded me about emotional hygiene.
I've been running around at 100 MPH for so long, when I finally had a chance to slow down I got sick physically. Now that I'm feeling better for the most part, my empty emotional tank is really coming to the surface and I'm seeing the results of not giving myself the type of play that I need.
Sure I enjoy reading and writing blog posts.
But there's something about video games that gives some really deep fulfillment. It sounds crazy, but some people play golf, some people take their car to the race track. My dad ride's his bicycle, I play video games.
I don't play a lot.
I don't need to. With as much fun as I have with them, I don't want to.
I don't want to get burned out on something I love.
It's like if your favorite food is Pizza. (one of my personal favorites!) If you eat it all of the time, it looses the things that make it special. You don't enjoy how it smells or tastes. It just becomes another meal.
It should be something you give to yourself because you love yourself. (Loving yourself is something else that's very important!)
Use it to fill your "love tank" and then go share that energy with the rest of the world.
When you've given yourself enough love, (for me it's something similar to a nice hot shower in the morning. There's a lot steam, so much that you get out of the shower and you can't see very well.) you will naturally radiate that love. It will ooze from every pore in your being.
Well that's what my day has been like since picking up the controller 
If your life is stuck in a rut, maybe you should be asking yourself: "What can I do to give my emotions a shower?"