I found myself thinking about an exercise I've been making a part of my morning routine. I wake up and think and feel how much I love myself. I've been noticing a lot of internal tension gets released during the exercise.

It hit me, one of the things that has been holding me back is that I keep doing these exercises (somewhat sporadically I might add) expecting to just arrive at something great one day.

That thought process leads me to what feels like an eventual wall.

I've only been letting myself go so far with self development because I feel like I should see some tangible results in life. Which coincidentally I have been, it's just not quite what I've envisioned. At least not yet anyway.

I keep coming back to: "Life is not a destination."

Something that seems to be deep rooted in my thinking is that one day I will "arrive" at life. It's just not true. After all life is what happens to you while you're planning.

So I'm taking that as my most recent kick in the pants and using it to be more present in what is happening within my life, while being ever more present and an active participant in my life.

Soctrates: "Do you know how to clean a windshield?"
Dan: "Yeah"
Socrates: "Wisdom is doing it!"

I've been thinking about it and seeing all the areas in my life where I "know" how things should be done, but that's the extent to which I do them. So I'm making a conscious effort to gain wisdom and do those things I "know" I should be.

One of which is that I'm learning how to customize/create WordPress themes, I'm doing that at the same time I'm trying out WordPress 3.0.

Wish me luck!

I've talked with numerous people who seem to write this way of thinking off as people who don't want to give to charity or some such nonsense.

But if you look at things from the perspective of people creating their own realities, we can see that if people are felt sorry for it's only strengthening the notion that they are where they are "meant" to be.

If we turn this idea on it's ear and instead treat people like they are in fact meant to be treated (like the universe is their playground, if you're wondering), we will instead strengthen the idea that they can in fact do anything they want. The biggest thing that anyone needs is someone to believe in them. Eventually it has to be themselves, but it never hurts to give someone help.

I saw a video that summed up the current economic state in the world. That is not my focus, as it would only feed the idea that we are victims of circumstance.

My reason for writing this is to propose that if we were to look at our lives part of a greater whole and understand the a whole is greater than the sum of it's parts. In this context, part of a country or in a much larger scope as a part of a species.

I had a thought (no, it didn't hurt ) about faith recently. If there are only two base emotions: love and fear. Then faith must be the absence of fear, because with faith we overcome the "uncertainty" (see fear) of life.

Simply imagine what the world would be like, if everyone lived their lives with faith.

But I'm going to write anyway and see what comes out of the aether while I'm at it.

My summer schedule is treating me pretty well, having half days on Thursday and Friday has been nice.

I finished reading The Elephant and the Twig by Geoff Thompson. So many simple truths. "If your life is not right, change it until it is." Funny enough while I was spending some time contemplating ways to make things right, I got a knock at the door. It was someone going door to do selling some locally produced food. Winder Farms, the saleslady gave me a sample of some really tasty chocolate milk, and some really good orange juice. She told me they don't inject the cows with hormones to cause them to lactate, which is something I was wondering if I could find.

I really like drinking milk, but one of the things I would like to make right in my life is to have clear skin. I've read that the hormones in diary can cause your skin to go nuts. So I figure why not give it a shot? But then again milk is such a great source of nutrition, so this seems to be great way to compromise between the two.

For trying the service out they gave me a breakfast bundle of various foods as well. A half gallon of orange juice, a half gallon of chocolate milk, a loaf of cracked wheat bread, a box of organic pancake mix, a dozen eggs, and a pound and a half of apple-wood smoked bacon. I cooked up some of the bacon and now my apartment smells like it. I never thought I would enjoy the lingering smell of food so much.

One thing I am realizing I need to work on is my food intake. It's an addiction of mine that I need to over come. I eat so many things that aren't the best for me. Bacon may be on the list but I'm going to get rid of processed sugar first.

I've also been putting some more thought into starting my own business. The idea I came up with the other day still seems pretty solid, but then again I'll be doing pretty much the same thing that I'm doing for a living right now. Which isn't something I would all that excited or passionate about doing. Thinking about the base idea though, I think it may still have some merit, we'll see what else shows up out of the aether.

I've also been working on an idea that I came up with for a site application. I couldn't find the original code that I wrote so I've had to start over. But then again version two is much more functional and also easier to use. Once I get some polish on it, I'm going to make it available for everyone to use.

Something worthwhile to offer site visitors rather than just some narcissistic ramblings.

Wow it's fun being vague

Turning obstacles into opportunities?

I got a wake-up call the other day in a part of my life I was excelling in. While I am making leaps and bounds in some of the bigger areas, it was brought to my attention that I am a dismal failure in the smaller areas.

I have a nasty habit (something I thought I got over last year) of showing up late for things. I thought about it and realized that I've had some image of myself being above showing up. Strange to realize, but a powerful realization to come to.

What I've found really useful is the realization that came afterword.

The realization that the discipline to do the small things in life is what opens our lives up to do much larger things.

The small things in life such as keeping our living space clean and watching how much sugar we intake (yes, examples from my own life) are what open up to larger things. After all if I for instance want to run my own business how can I expect to run one properly if I can't keep my house clean and stop myself from eating processed sugar simply because I don't feel like cleaning or because I a base part of myself wants the taste of sugar.

It's like building a house, the foundation may only be a small part of it, but it's the most important part. If your foundation is not set squarely and level anything you build on top of it will not withstand things that try to shake it from the outside.

Yes I've setup Google Ad Sense on the site. But I haven't gotten enough click-throughs for a check (it's coming ). I opened the envelope and was rewarded with a 100$ Ad Words Credit.

So I setup an Ad Words account and redeemed the credit. It also required that I put some more money into the account so I did that as well. Now I have a pretty good chunk of change sitting in the account.

While I was setting the account up I couldn't help but get the feeling that this was the Universe trying to tell me something. So I figured I'd create a portfolio site and show off some of my other work. The overall impression I got was that the Universe is telling me to get off my butt and "plant some seeds" as Geoff Thompson put it in his book: The Elephant and the Twig (for more information on the book and downloading it see: The Elephant and the Twig).

I set up the account and then went to the Karate Studio and taught my classes. After class I got talking to one of my students who owns a Mechanic's shop here in town, apparently a good one (I like his philosophy on repairs and I'm probably going to Kat in there when some stuff breaks that I don't care to get dirty fixing). We got talking about business and he gave me a few tips, I'm thinking they are above where I'm at now. But it's pretty cool to be friends with another business owner.

On the way home I stopped by Borders and picked up: The Complete Idiot's Guide to: Starting Your Own Business.

I started reading it and there were a few bits of interesting information, the author posed a simple question in the first chapter. He asked: If you could work for yourself and make the same amount of money, would you?

I myself answered yes, I rather like making money from my own ventures.

So I continued reading, while I was I kept running through my initial idea of doing web design. I don't think it really fits me. I did however come up with an interesting idea that at first search on Google I haven't seen anyone else offering the service I have in mind. It could be a really novel idea or it could be a not so good one.

I guess I'll find out soon enough. If anything else it'll be good to go through the process of really planning out how a business will work and analyzing whether or not it will actually succeed.

I'll post some more updates about things as I go along with this.

Everyone wish me luck!

On the way back I was talking my 14 year old cousin about school and such. He was describing male displays of power and things that result from not having a fully developed Frontal Cortex.

It's funny to see things from this side now, I can only imagine what was going through my parents heads when I was that age.

From another context I also found it interesting to listen to how many problems he thought he could solve with violence, especially while I'm reading the Little Black Book of Violence.

After getting back to my parents house, I hung around for a while and while was sitting down my knees just were letting me know that they had spent 3 hours in the car. Just funny to think about, seeing how far my mentality toward violence has come and then feeling a little bit older in body as well (no I don't think I'm old or anything just laughing at life).

*Hi Dr. Nick!*

I'm in a somewhat random mood today, been wanting to write something but I can't come up with anything coherent. But I figured I would just write something anyway.

Work is slow right now and I installed a couple new plugins to the site a couple days ago, been itching to see how they'll work out. They're nothing really spectacular, but they should help my search ranking One plugin is supposed to generate a Meta Description for posts based on a snippet from the post. The other generates site maps. So heck yeah

On the gaming front, I think I'm getting close to beating Final Fantasy 3 on my DS. The games has actually taken longer than I was expecting. I'm getting close to 30 hours now, it's been pretty good game so far. A little cookie cutter as far as the story line goes, but the overall gameplay mechanics are pretty good and the graphics are pretty sharp to boot. I'm going to write up a more in-depth review of it when I get finished, then it's on to Final Fantasy 4 for DS

On my book front I just finished reading: "The Way of Kata." Another good book by: Lawrence Kane and Kris Wilder. I would recommend it to any Martial Artist that wants a better understanding of the types of applications that can be contained within the Forms they study. Now I'm on to: "The Little Black Book of Violence." Also by Kane and Wilder.

On the car geek front, I found a MAF upgrade for Kat, along with a 70mm TB. When I get the exhaust upgraded (decided I want to go true dual) upgrade the headers, it's going to really breath well after I put the MAF and TB to boot. After which point I'm sure I'm going to need to get the ECU flashed to really take advantage of everything. Meh, it'll all be done when it's supposed to be.

Speaking of just relaxing and letting things happen, a friend told me a little while ago that life is what happens while you're planning. I've been seeing this come up, I find it funny that I'll put things like taking the trash out and cleaning the cat box off with the thought: "I'm busy, I'll do it later." Even though it takes a whopping 5 minutes to do.  So now instead of looking around and thinking "Aaarggghhhh! So busy when am I going to get through all this stuff?" The past week or so, it's been more: "Hmm, I've already played some video games, read some from my current book, and cleaned up a good portion of the apartment, now what am I going to do?" With that though I've also realized I need to put more of what I want to do as a priority, I found myself thinking "I want to practice Martial Arts more, I'll do it when I get more time." but I realized that I just needed to do it. So I've been doing much better about practicing my stuff, which if nothing else makes me feel a lot better.

Yesterday I found myself wondering what I have to offer the rest of the world aside from doing Tech Support or  teaching kids Karate (the later of which is really fun I must say). Really it's that I want to evolve what this website is offering. I'd like to have more to give people than just some narcissistic ramblings about why my life is so cool. Anyone have any ideas?

On another note for the site, I've been working on adding some affiliate links to help me generate some money. Mostly to help me put stuff into my car, which will give me more stuff to write about Everyone wish me luck!

100,000 miles

Other stuff that's been going on, just finished my last final today! (I only had to take two but oh well feels good) It was for Psychology 1010, I wasn't as prepared as I thought I was, but oh well I just relied on my ability to bullshit through things. Hopefully I'll have gotten a decent grade.

I'm still kind of floating and not knowing what to do next with my life. Although, I have been reflecting on what I have accomplished thus far and I'm pretty happy I must say

I'm taking the summer off of school going to get a bunch of stuff done that I've been putting off, things like playing video games and reading the stack of books that are sitting next to my bed at the moment. As well I've got to do some more brushing up on math, I took the math placement test about a week ago and got a 55, I needed a 60 to get into Math 1050 (have I mentioned that I don't much like Algebra?) so going to pull out the math books and do some more review, I'm planning on hitting up some Trig. as well (about half of the questions on the test were Trig problems that I had no idea how to answer).

I'm still going back and forth with what I should do with my degree, but next semester I'm taking an intro to Buddhism course, a Life and Career Planning course, I signed up for Math 1010 again even though I'm just going to drop it. I'm also taking Sociology 1010 and Billiards again.

I did have a realization about school and that I do need to make it more of a priority, my GPA isn't where I would like it and I'm paying enough money to go I may as well get the best grades I can and learn all that I can (I have to quit making excuses for myself).

Going to be looking for a new apartment at the end of July, I'm thinking I want to find some place that's closer to campus. I'm going to look for something on the east side of Main  Street so I'll have an easier time catching a bus to campus.

I'm also almost finished playing through Final Fantasy 3 on DS, it's been a good game and I'm going to write a review for it on my Geekness blog when I get done.

Relating back to stuff with Kat, I just posted the install of the 8 Ball shifter. You can read it here.

For those of you who like Quasi (see Diet Coke) Superhero movies with dark undertones, foul mouthed little girls, and a mix of revenge plots, I saw Kick-Ass yesterday. It was not really what I was expecting, but it was still a good watch. I'm thinking I'll probably see it again. There were points I found myself laughing, but then stopping and looking at what I was laughing at, somewhat disturbing. Although, I know the situations were set up to be like that. One of the earlier scenes that was very similar to Meet Joe Black. You get through seeing one crazy event and it's followed by a tight camera shot to something completely unexpected.

One final thing that I've been doing is that I shelled over the cash for some audio programs from: Scot McKay over at: X & Y Communications. I bought The Leading Man program and the his book: Deserve What You Want. After listening to Deserve What You Want (it included an audio version). I ended up buying his Virtuosity program. So far everything I've listened to has brought some things into focus for me. I really like what he has to say about dating and life in general. The principle everything else he teaches revolves around is to be a: Solid, Authentic Man. I've really enjoyed listening to the stuff so far and would recommend that any guys that want to get a better handle on dating and understanding what women want from a Man look him up and at least sign up for his newsletter. As well I would recommend that anyone get his book: Deserve What You Want.

Alright everyone make it a great one!

I finally beat Portal the other day, yeah it's an older game but oh well. It's definitely worth playing! I've also been playing through Fallout 3, I'm not very far and I've been cheating somewhat (adding money to my inventory using the debug mode), but I more just like playing games rather than getting really good at them. Speaking of games, I bought a used copy of Final Fantasy 3 for my DS yesterday, I'm a couple hours into it already. So far it plays just like most of the games in the series and the story is very reminiscent of the original Final Fantasy. Oh well SquareSoft has a formula and it works. (Then again I haven't played much of 12 and I haven't touched 13 yet)

Long story short, I've been letting myself be a gamer again and I've been happier. My biggest problem seems to be making time for everything. Oh well life is never perfect and it's always in state of flux, just have to keep making time for activities in various parts of life.

In my psychology class on Friday, my teacher pointed out the rise in Narcissism. The whole "Look at me!" mentality, it's got me thinking: "Why do I have this person blog? Do people really want read about my life?" Then again, I do want to live my life in a way that inspires others to make their lives great. (Still have a long way to go.) I've been thinking I really need to spend more time on the more informative parts that I've been talking about. Hell, I still need to post the install article for my Cold Air Intake.

On the life development side I need to get my butt in gear and work on defining success for myself and figure out what my dreams are. Seems kind of sill to think about, but at the same time I don't have any clearly defined goals at the moment, no emotion to help propel me forward. I have been doing some spring cleaning, mostly just organizing my room and making sure to clean the catbox out regularly and taking the trash out when it needs it. I don't know if it's because of that or maybe just the awareness of how little time it actually takes to do things that make a big difference. But, today has been moving by slowly or maybe it's that I'm used to feeling like I don't get much done and today is different.

I also had the thought that I spend too much time doing nothing, and as: Jane McGonigal pointed out at TED the opposite of work is not play, it's depression. (If you want to watch the video see my post: <a href="http://hitchhiketheuniverse.net/2010/03/20/epic-wins/">Epic Wins</a>) By spending time cleaning house and taking care of responsibilities it creates much more pleasant environment to be in.

Very surprising.

Everyone make it a great one!

I ended up missing a test in Psychology. Hopefully my grades on the other two tests will carry me along with the final. I thought about trying to struggle up there and take the test, but decided it wasn't worth the effort. I have been talking to my professor and she says that I can take the test with reduced points as a makeup, I figure reduced points is better than no points.

Besides laying in bed feeling like crap and having other people taxi me to do laundry, I finished watching Farsacpe which was a series always liked but never got to see all the way through. Nothing really spectacular, but a good story and I can mark it off my list I also started reading through Get Off Your But by Sean Stephensen. It's been a great read so far. Hopefully I'll be able to give a more insightful and comprehensive breakdown of the book once I get done reading it.

Okay well that's pretty much all that's happened the last little bit.

Everyone make it a great one!