100 Day Challenge: Day 53
Wow, been almost a week since my last post...
This week has been pretty damn busy... Spent the majority of my weekend getting ready for my Math 1010 final. Which I bombed for some reason. Of course looking at the average for my class I'm right in the middle.
When the average on a final is: 55% I think that means there's a problem.
Wow, I'm a bit miffed about it... I have a feeling the final is a bunch of crap.
I'm going to run through other math books I have and going to go take the placement test, I will laugh when I test out of 1010 and probably 1050.
Wow, Had wanted to do a big day 50 recap, but oh well right in the middle of finals.
I'm glad they're over, I don't have to worry about school for over a month!
I am becoming incredibly frustrated with my vehicle situation. I'm left waiting for a loan payment to process before I get my car. I feel like I'm justified in feeling frustrated, I vented a little bit on my mom who is stuck in the middle of it. I just don't know what to do. My current vehicle does not like the cold, it will not go anywhere unless it's been warmed up for ten minutes. The gas mileage is horrible, on top of the heater not working.
I really should be grateful that I have a car, I don't have to walk in the cold.
Which lately it has been very cold. It's just after midnight right now and it's -8 degrees Fahrenheit. I really need to do something about the draft that comes in through the door to this place tomorrow.
But there is no bad weather, only the wrong clothes.
On the upside I got my new video card and installed it. I've been playing Deadspace for the last few days. I have the settings cranked all the way up. My computer is handling it like a champ.
On a side note, Dead Space is a beautiful game. Well beautiful in a disturbing sort of way, the graphics are amazing. I can only imagine what some of the more recent games look like on a high-end card. The game is amazingly well done, the graphics are detailed with a beautiful job done on the lighting and shadows. The music and sound effects do their job. I was actually expecting a shooter, but this game is definitely survival horror.
I've also started playing Magic The Gathering again. I haven't touched the game for a number of years, but my roommate got into playing and I started playing with his decks and remembered how interesting the game could be.
Alright well It's freezing down here, so I'm going to head to bed.
Everyone make it a great one.
100 Day Challenge: Day 47
Today I had a realization.
There's a lot of time I waste checking things, websites, blogs, my e-mail, etc.
So I decided to download Google Desktop and I setup a gmail account. I had one but I can't seem login to it, so I created another one. I also configured that gmail account and my school e-mail account to be accessed via Thunderbird. Yahoo wants me to upgrade before they'll let me access that account via POP3/IMAP. So I'm going to say goodbye to Yahoo and go pretty much all Google. I just feel a sudden need or maybe it's an understanding of how I can simplify my life if I consolidate as much as possible.
I'm also looking at downloading portable versions of my WebBrowsers (I use both Firefox and Chrome), Thunderbird, and Keepass. I figure this will help me keep everything together and organized. With these portable apps I'm figuring that it will make life a lot easier using both my desktop and my Netbook. (On a related note, I saw a touchscreen version of the Asus EePC today... It's hot... I don't know if it's $600 hot, but it was hot.)
I guess this goes along with my desire recently to de-muck my life. I've cleaned out my bedroom, my car, I've cleaned out my Hotmail account, my Yahoo account, and I've started cleaning out my e-mail account at work. Looking at my desk there's some clutter I can stand to get rid of here. I've also organized my files on my computer and I'm also planning on doing a Windows re-install after my graphics card gets here (currently it's sitting in a warehouse in Salt Lake).
Along with the Google Desktop install I've started to put my schedule in to Google Calendar. I'm betting this will make my tasks a lot easier to manage. Of course it's using this that also makes me want a G1. I'm sure it's got access to an app to bring up Google Calendar which would make managing tasks even easier.
Wow, I'm becoming a total tech junkie. Well at least to the point where I am letting them make my life easier. Or at least I'm hoping they make my life easier 
I'm still planning on doing some mind mapping for some things I would like to achieve.
Wow, I want to believe I'll find a way to make the money I set out to make at the beginning of this. Was it $10,000 or was it $15,000 or was it $20,000? I don't remember, but the last entry I found was for $10,000. I guess that points to the fact that money is not that important to me right now. I really can't complain, actually I'm grateful as hell. I have plenty of money coming my way to provide for what I'm doing Hell let's take a look at my major purchases that aren't school/living related: Hosting for this website, my netbook, a graphics card, down payment on another car (still waiting anxiously for that one to finally pay off.). Oh yeah and I just bought the original 3 episodes of Star Wars (IV, V, and VI) on special edition DVD the other day, so I really don't feel like a poser anymore. Oh yes, I've also had enough to pay for testing and take time off to promote to 2nd Degree Black Belt.
Now that I think about it, it really is awesome how money has been flowing into my life.
I'm just about half way through this process for the first time and really what I'm excited about is that I'm de-junking my life, as well I feel like I'm getting in touch with my real self. Those two things are worth far more to me any amount of money. Although I have a feeling that those two things are going to produce quite a bit of money for me
It is interesting to note how much more free-flowing the energy around me feels with things really starting to get cleaned up in my life. It's good Feung Shui to boot.
Everyone make your day a great one, I'm going to go crawl into my nice warm bed and cuddle with my kitties.
100 Day Challenge: Day 45
Wow, big win today.
I realized a particularly sly little habit that permeates my routine.
A little background first: My major weakness is a fear of being judged and rejected by people. Subconsciously I have a need to feel accepted even if that means not being myself. That's all fine and good. I realized that a long time ago
So really what's the big deal? What is it that I learned about myself myself today?
Well, I'll tell you
I can't remember exactly how I stumbled onto this, but I realized while I was walking to my car after classes that I have a tendency to want people to feel sorry for me. Or something along those lines. I pull the: I'm a college student card a lot. Most people react like: "Ahh I see." Or I pull the I'm overworked card, I'll talk about being a full-time student and how working on top of that wears me out. Then if I'm not getting what I want or someone tries to play "One Up" I pull the Karate teacher card.
All in all, yes my life is hectic, I know this and from what I've realized today I've drug everyone else into knowing this.
Those unconscious habits can be real buggers to find.
I find it strange that in some way I feel accepted when people feel sorry for me. Very strange since I've come to the realization that I really want people to look up to me and respect me. Genuinely respect me. Which now that I think about it, is most likely why this showed up for me. I want to be respected and how can you really respect someone you feel sorry for?
I also got to have a long conversation with Mr. Smith on Life, the Universe, and Everything. It ended up lasting about three hours.
One of the things I took from the conversation among many was the idea of a mind map. It's something I'm going start doing with things this Saturday and see what interesting things I can pull out of my head. This idea is important for me because I can see things fairly clearly in my head, but I have a hard time getting them down on paper a lot of times. That's because I think spatially and to go from a three dimensional idea to trying to write it down on a two dimensional piece of paper is just plain difficult.
Talking with Mr. Smith I can see how these mind will help me fill in holes in my ideas and they'll also give me a sequence so I can see a path forward instead of trying to jump around all the time.
Mr. Smith also gave me a suggestion with my teaching, he wants me to pay attention to how many times I say: no. I see that this will benefit me not just in teaching but will benefit my life overall.
Everyone make your day a great one!
100 Day Challenge: Day 44
The internet is back up at my apartment
Well actually it was back up after I called and talked to technical support yesterday, the modem/router needed to be "burped." But that took care of the problem, so yay!
I haven't recorded a new video yet, really just because I've been busy. I'm sorry about that, well really I need to apologize to myself.
Anyway, I've had a few good ideas to write about today, but I can't readily recall most of them. A thought I have been kicking around in my head. Something I may have already brought up in a previous post. But something I feel like I should share again even if I have already. The idea that if the state of the world is a net result of the people in it, then if I make myself a better person, then the world becomes a better place. If that is the case then by changing myself then I have changed the world.
Something for everyone to think about.
Of course something has come up again and again, is understanding is not enough. We must be willing to act on our understanding. Such as: I can understand that by changing my thought patterns my perception of reality will change as well. But it's not until I actually go through the process actively changing my thought patterns nothing will actually change.
So better yet, things for everone to think about and then ct on.
Well off to bed, it's going to be another fun day or Brandon tomorrow (wow, why do I do this to myself?).
Everyone make it a great one!
100 Day Challenge: Day 43
I hope everyone's week is off to a great start!
Sorry there's not video post yet this week, my internet crapped out last night (well it's either the connection or my modem died). So I'm writing this while I'm in my Public Speaking class learning about debate.
A thought just occurred to me about how cool it is that I can take my netbook almost anywhere and there's a connection to the digital continent.
Something big this week for me has been the need to find out what I want, something to shoot for. As Mr. Smith puts it: I need to find my soul purpose.
I'm working out a plan to go spend some time by myself for a couple of days. I'm thinking I'm going to go outside of Cache Valley, get a hotel room, turn off my cell phone, and sit in silence for a couple days.
Time for focus on class, everyone make it a great week this week!