There's a lot of time I waste checking things, websites, blogs, my e-mail, etc.

So I decided to download Google Desktop and I setup a gmail account. I had one but I can't seem login to it, so I created another one. I also configured that gmail account and my school e-mail account to be accessed via Thunderbird. Yahoo wants me to upgrade before they'll let me access that account via POP3/IMAP. So I'm going to say goodbye to Yahoo and go pretty much all Google. I just feel a sudden need or maybe it's an understanding of how I can simplify my life if I consolidate as much as possible.

I'm also looking at downloading portable versions of my WebBrowsers (I use both Firefox and Chrome), Thunderbird, and Keepass.  I figure this will help me keep everything together and organized. With these portable apps I'm figuring that it will make life a lot easier using both my desktop and my Netbook. (On a related note, I saw a touchscreen version of the Asus EePC today... It's hot... I don't know if it's $600 hot, but it was hot.)

I guess this goes along with my desire recently to de-muck my life. I've cleaned out my bedroom, my car, I've cleaned out my Hotmail account, my Yahoo account, and I've started cleaning out my e-mail account at work. Looking at my desk there's some clutter I can stand to get rid of here. I've also organized my files on my computer and I'm also planning on doing a Windows re-install after my graphics card gets here (currently it's sitting in a warehouse in Salt Lake).

Along with the Google Desktop install I've started to put my schedule in to Google Calendar. I'm betting this will make my tasks a lot easier to manage. Of course it's using this that also makes me want a G1. I'm sure it's got access to an app to bring up Google Calendar which would make managing tasks even easier.

Wow, I'm  becoming a total tech junkie. Well at least to the point where I am letting them make my life easier. Or at least I'm hoping they make my life easier I'm still planning on doing some mind mapping for some things I would like to achieve.

Wow, I want to believe I'll find a way to make the money I set out to make at the beginning of this. Was it $10,000 or was it $15,000 or was it $20,000? I don't remember, but the last entry I found was for $10,000. I guess that points to the fact that money is not that important to me right now. I really can't complain, actually I'm grateful as hell. I have plenty of money coming my way to provide for what I'm doing Hell let's take a look at my major purchases that aren't school/living related: Hosting for this website, my netbook, a graphics card, down payment on another car (still waiting anxiously for that one to finally pay off.). Oh yeah and I just bought the original 3 episodes of Star Wars (IV, V, and VI) on special edition DVD the other day, so I really don't feel like a poser anymore. Oh yes, I've also had enough to pay for testing and take time off to promote to 2nd Degree Black Belt.

Now that I think about it, it really is awesome how money has been flowing into my life.

I'm just about half way through this process for the first time and really what I'm excited about is that I'm de-junking my life, as well I feel like I'm getting in touch with my real self. Those two things are worth far more to me any amount of money. Although I have a feeling that those two things are going to produce quite a bit of money for me

It is interesting to note how much more free-flowing the energy around me feels with things really starting to get cleaned up in my life. It's good Feung Shui to boot.

Everyone make your day a great one, I'm going to go crawl into my nice warm bed and cuddle with my kitties.

This morning I was reminded of the saying: "It takes 21 days to form a habit." I don't believe that, it's been my experience that you start to form a habit after 21 days, but at that point the actions start to be picked up by your subconscious and it will start pushing back. It will ask you if this is what your really want, it will try to distract you, it will play tricks on you.

Why would your own subconscious do that? Well it's where a lot of your core identity is. It's where the beliefs about who you are that have been built up over a long period of time reside. Changing things about yourself can be painful, look at addiction. Something habitual that you've believed for years is a lot like an addiction. In that without it, your body/mind doesn't know what to do. So it fights back and says: "NO, THIS IS THE WAY I AM!"

So why do I bring this up?

Well just like most things I've been writing about during this process, I found this bit of understanding staring me in the face. I didn't make a post last night and I didn't do my exercises even though one of my intentions for this week is to get back on track with my 100 Day Challenge.

So here I am with some free time after a test in my Astrobiology class telling my subconscious: "NO, YOU DO WHAT I TELL YOU TO DO!"

We'll see what happens over the next little while. My Sensei Mr. Smith has told me a few times that it takes 21 days to form an initial habit, then another 21 days to push that new way of thinking into your subconscious. So I'll be putting that to the test over the next three weeks.

On another note, I started reorganizing my bedroom. I bought a TV stand and put it together yesterday (rather than doing homework though) and I arranged my room. Of course something still feels off with the way it's configured. I've got some more ideas and going to play around with them while I finish cleaning out my closets. I'm hoping it will make my room feel more comfortable.

Which on the subject, is something I remembered from my personality test. It said that I need my home life to private and feel comfortable. My bedroom has really been anything but. Part of it, I'm sure has been having a Queen size bed in the room. The location of which is dictated by the ability to open the door But I found a spot that seems to work, now I don't think my TV works being positioned next to my bed. So I'm going to try and move it to another corer toward the foot of my bed. My problem there becomes playing video games on the TV which is something else I'd like to be able to do in the room. I have a banana chair, but the situating everything seems like it's going to be a bit tricky, while keeping access to my closets. Well at least one of them, the other is just being used for storage right now.

Alright well time for class.

Everyone make it a great one!

Wow, I am really tired tonight. I thought I was mostly over whatever this is (has the symptoms of the flu, but they're pretty much all gone except that I'm really tired.)

It seems like Fear was a big topic for the day. Thought about it before I went to be last night/this morning as it was a major theme in my negative emotions list.

Then nothing else really happened until I was in one of my classes and my teacher started talking about fear. How it's a learned behavior, babies don't experience fear. They have a toy and you take it away, yeah they'll cry, but they don't fear loosing the toy while they have it.

Without conflict there can be no development.

One of the first people I saw that started going through one of these 100 Day challenges said in one of his video logs that we must understand that whatever we have can be taken away. However if it is taken away we can rebuild what was lost.

If you did it once, why can't you do it again? The thing is it'll probably be easier the second time.

Life flows in cycles of creation and destruction. New ideas replacing old ones, new clothes going into your closet as old ones come out. I myself have to clean out my computer component collection every once in a while. What I find interesting is that most of the time when I get rid of things more stuff shows up to take it's place.

One of my roommates was watching a YouTube video or reading a book and there was a comment about how really rich people don't have a lot of stuff. After hearing that I stopped and thought about it, I used to install hardwood floors. There were a number of wealthy homes that I worked in. Looking at the homes through that perspective, yeah they didn't have a lot of stuff. Or at least clutter. There were lots of wide open spaces in their homes.

Thinking about it, I have an experiment that I'm going to try. Well more continue from my post about the clean sweep. I wonder if all the clutter in my life is preventing/hindering new energy from entering into my life. Clothes I don't wear, electronics, I don't use, boxes full of random stuff. All of it taking up space in my life and preventing new energy from coming in.

Let's see what new things show up in life when I make room for them

So back to the beginning of the post, what does this all have to do with fear, more specifically, fear of loss? Maybe we shouldn't be afraid of what might be "lost" and enjoy what we have while we have it. When it eventually disappears, we can see what replaces it and decide what to do then.

Everyone have a good night!