As I've mentioned before I've had somewhat of a fog that's been in my way. I've lacked direction and I've been dealing with a bit of pain and suffering because of it lately.

There was a bit of wisdom I found about suffering and how it means that a part of you is being purified. I have also been developing a better awareness of both the separation and the connection between mind body and spirit. Something that I am unable to put into words. But it is bringing a feeling of peace and understanding to what I've been experiencing.

Earlier this evening I was studying for a Computerized Placement Test that I'm planning on taking this coming week before school starts. It was while I was studying that I realized if I was really motivated to move forward with my Math education I'd already have done the review and not be cramming for the test right before it.

I've mentioned it before, I'm not sure about going for a degree in Computer Science.

I had the thought of not worrying about the CPT and continuing to work through my algebra books and then taking it during the summer. If I decide that Computer Science is something I do in fact want to pursue then I can take more math classes over the summer. For the upcoming semester I think I'm going to take an art class and a writing class.

It hit me earlier while I was thinking about Math that I don't really spend any time programming. When i do program, it seems more of a chore than anything. I do however write on a regular basis and spend time thinking about how I can write better. Not to mention I do enjoy it.

Why should I be afraid to take a chance?

A couple of days ago I read a story about an inspired idea and what following those ideas lead to. I realized this in fact is an inspired idea, what really tipped it off was the clarity, peace, and I also felt exhilarated by it. So I'm going to follow it and see what happens. Really the worst that could happen is that I'll figure out that I really want to program and I'll have been set back by a semester.

Just relax and let success flow my way.

Today, my girlfriend asked me what kind of lifestyle I want to live. It got me thinking, I want to have the freedom to take days off when I want them, I want a comfortable home with some creativity thrown into the design, I want a family, and I want a wife that I can't imagine living without.

Everyone make it a great one!