100 Day Challenge: Day 54
So after last night's little escapade I realized that I seem to be back where I started from.
That being I need to remember to have faith in what I want manifesting for me and that I'm where I'm at because of choices I've made.
Interesting and empowering, I feel a lot better now. Not to mention I've let go of some long held resentment toward my mother of all people. Glad I've let go of it, but now I feel bad because I've hurt her and she didn't deserve it. I've taken responsibility and now I'm formulating an apology, well actually I've already apologized for it but I think something larger is in order. Not sure what yet.
Anyway, I was reintroduced to the power of affirmation and holding strong intentions in my mind today.
Interesting that things start to become clear now that I don't have school weighing down my mental processes 
Ended up reading a really powerful article on: Geoff Thompson's website titled: Per Ardua Ad Astra.
After which my mindset changed and I started asking myself why I don't accept success and why I blame others for what is clearly my responsibility. Then there was also an: Insight of the Day story about faith and intention and how powerful they are when we have no doubts in hour hearts.
So yet again, I'm back where I started with: What do I want?
The good news is: that while I feel like I'm back at the beginning I know I'm not because I've become more honest with myself about what I want and who I am.
I've gotten back in touch with my nerd and I've embraced that part of myself. I love being active, but my nerd must be expressed. Funny thing is, I actually feel a renewed sense of vigor toward studying Martial Arts! I also remembered that I love putting computers together (for the most part anyway, sometimes heatsinks/coolers can be a royal bitch to install). There's something about handling components that gets me going, not sure what it is. I like tinkering with things, making them faster, cleaner, better, etc. (Now if I can just figure out why the heater in the Mazda won't work, I won't freeze!)
Off to bed
Everyone make it a great one!
100 Day Challenge: Day 5
I find it funny, although not unexpected. That I seem to be encountering different lessons every day that I've been going along so far.
Today's lesson has seemed to be: "I'm where I'm at because of the choices I've made."
I've been studying Martial Arts for about six years now and you think I would have learned that no one is forcing me to do anything. I attend classes of my own free will. Simple enough, but still there are times when you are leaning new things or being asked to perform an exercise and you can't help but think: "why me?" or "why are you doing this to me?" Deep down I understand it's for my benefit. It's getting past the aching legs and learning to remain calm through the process that is the difficult part.
With that idea in mind other experiences today have reminded me of the same thing. I was on my way to teach Karate and I left my apartment a bit later than I planned to. On the way to the studio I ended up behind a guy driving a piece of industrial equipment. He's only able to do 15 MPH. My first thought was: "Why? I'm in a hurry!" Then I stopped myself and thought, well if I'd left on time I wouldn't be stuck behind this guy. It was my choices that lead me to where I am now. So I laughed at myself and of course within the next block they guy made a right as I made a left and that was that. I still made it to the studio with time to spare
I've realized this with other things today as well, my Math 1010 class for instance. I'm not really enjoying the class all that much. It's been more of a pain in the butt than anything. But I forced myself to realize that it's because I slacked off in high school and that I projected myself into the future last semester that I'm having to re-take the class.
There are only two modes of thinking, you're either a creator or a victim.
A creator takes things in life as learning experiences, once a goal has been met it reinforces the behavior pattern. If something doesn't work, a creator will step back and analyze where mistakes were made so they won't be repeated in the future. To do that means accepting the consequence for your actions. This method of thinking takes courage, but "If it's meant to be, it's up to me!" (I'm not sure if my Karate Instructor Adam Smith said that or if he got it from his Life Coach Jeff Allen, or maybe someone else said it before both of them. At least I tried to give credit!)
So taking on my responsibility to be an active participant in bringing the things I want into my life. I have realized that I need to provide a service in exchange for the money that I desire during this process (it came up while I was reading Think and Grow Rich today.) The best services I can think to offer is to share my experiences with people. Which I've been doing very consistently and will continue to do so. But I also want to do more.
I've decided that while this site is a side project, I am going to dedicate a large portion of my free time to developing a site which I would like to grow into a community where people can come and exchange ideas and help each other along life's path.
Please feed the Comment Monster and tell me how I'm doing or about any suggestions, they're much appreciated!